How I lost myself

1. I was all together for a while. And then I realized that wasn't really for me. And so I went back to being ten thousand pieces on the floor lying.
2. Ten thousand pieces are difficult to put together and no one really knew how to go about it. So no ever tried to put me together again.
3. Once I was broken, I was broken forever. No amount of glue could fix it.
4. I tried once, when I was younger and I cut my hands on the fragments. So I got angry and broke them into two pieces each piece.
5. So now there were twenty thousand pieces and it was even more difficult. I did not want to do it.
6. There is such beautiful art you can create once you're broken. All art is created by broken pieces. So, I tried to create and realized that my mind was out of creativity for a long time. I should've enjoyed it when I had it.
7. Now the pieces are no longer made of glass, they are made of regret. I am made of regret and sadness.
8. Depression is one of those things. You can fight it all you want but if you're not strong enough the monster will always come back and capture you in your sleep. I started  having nightmares and realized that I'm just not strong enough.
9. I went back home, all of my pieces in my hands hoping someone there would be able to fix it.
10. My mom told me I was weak and, even though she was right, it made the pieces break into thirty thousand.
11. The same happened with everyone else.
12. Now I had pieces that looked just like snowflakes. They're were little, so little and fragile. They no longer resembled me, who I used to be.
13. When I was a child, all was right and I didn't feel pain. Then something happened. Maybe tragedy just runs in my veins. There is nothing I can do now.
14. I had thirty thousand pieces. There were so many that I lost a few. I lost bits of me with every step I took.
15. I couldn't see a way out of it. I was standing still on the street afraid of everything that could made me lose even one more piece. They all seemed so precious now and I couldn't even move.
16. I can't build myself up from nothing! I kept screaming paralyzed on the street with all the pieces I had left in my arms, cradling them like a baby. They were me, they were my baby.
17. No one stopped to help. I needed someone to help me carry them, I just needed help carrying them to safety so I could put them in a box and close them forever. I couldn't afford losing anymore. But no one stopped, no one offered to help.
18. I don't know how long I stood on that street, with no idea if I could move. It was cold, it was freezing, I was freezing from loneliness not even shivering, just freezing inside. That's the worst type of cold, I think now that I have felt it. A freezing river stream that starts at the steam of the brain and moves down quickly. It freezes from the inside out, completely. I hope that you never feel it.
19. I died frozen. All my pieces flew away and I crumbled on the floor and just died. There was nothing tragic about it, there was no one to mourn me. So my body just stayed there. People kept rushing by and the most beautiful thing happened. People passing by inhaled the small pieces of me by accident. And they were instantly full of regret. They apologised, they came to carry me, they took me away, they made me feel warm. But I was still dead, there was nothing to do now. There was no tragedy here. I did it to myself.